Monday, June 22, 2015

Financial Sarcasm Roundup for 06/22/15

The markets are on edge about Greece's fate, and my sarcasm is far edgier.  Investors can pull all the money they like from bond funds, because my sarcasm will always be there to fill the hole.

Greece throws some new proposals at Europe.  Only the dumbest journalists and analysts believe anything Athens says these days.  The Greek leadership goes through the motions and Europe's leaders act like they've earned another few billion euros.  Neither party believes in the process but they're both too terrified of what may happen in the markets if they don't keep up pretenses.  Anything Greece does to fulfill its austerity commitment will force a snap election that brings real radicals into power, and then the world watches an instant default.

Caterpillar plans another round of layoffs.  I'm glad I don't own that stock.  Bad times in the mining sector will hurt more than heavy equipment.  A whole bunch of truck stops and flophouses in Idaho, Montana, and Nevada will go under at some point.  Guess how much more the heavy equipment sector will hurt once the next housing market downturn comes along.

Amazon has incentives for vanity press authors.  Wow, now there's a reason to accelerate my pipe dream of self-publishing my financial tomes through Amazon's Kindle.  Content marketers are increasingly measuring user engagement in smaller increments.  Every instance counts.  It pays to change the metric from broad downloads to something like a la carte pricing.

I have to blast out a sarcastic missive at one loser who claims to operate in the tech sector.  I won't embarrass him by name.  This dude wouldn't listen to me a few years ago when I told him what he needed to do to make a minimum viable product (MVP).  He also demanded that I pretty much write his business plan for him and do a whole bunch of things he was too lazy to do himself.  I recently noticed that this guy is back in startup mode, running through the same accelerator program he's done before.  He has never succeeded in commercializing any of his claimed inventions.  Dude, sometimes you just need to know when to quit, so quit already.  I'm so glad he's not cramping my style anymore.